“You’re gay, so you’re going to represent the company at the gay pride parade.”

“I’m not gay.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not. I’ve got a wife, and three kids.”

“You act gay.”

“How do I ‘act gay?’ I’m just myself”

“That’s the problem. Your ‘self’ is gay.”

“WTF?That doesn’t make sense, I’m not gay.”

“Are you disparaging gays? Because I can get HR involved with this, if your going to start getting bigoted about gays.”

“I’m not bigoted about gays, my brother is gay, I don’t care, but I’M NOT GAY!”

“Yes, you are. Be in that parade, or you’re fired.”