Gwar got my vote too. Pittsburgh area. I’ve caught them maybe a dozen times starting with America Must Be Destroyed. Just a hell of a good time with usually good peeps.

Protip: wear all black or stand at the back.

I’m a Death Wish Coffee drinker, nearly black and strong brewed. It pairs well with Dethklok. In fact, I quite often watch it for that first sip. Great start to the day.

Update: I have made the selections and planted the garden on May 11. I am seed sowing Muncher variety cucumbers in a large container with a trellis and a couple of side pots of marigold.

The container is a 36x17x15 rectangular plastic storage tub. I placed it on a 36x22x3 pallet, and dropped a tarp in it to cover the sides (both inside and outside tub walls). I filled it with 100 pounds of topsoil prepped with some miracle grow liquid. The trellis is nothing too pretty. Old pallets broken down for a 60x36 wood frame leaning against the house on a 60 degree angle. I have some poly rope to use as lattice and can adjust on the fly.

I selected the Muncher variety for it being good on a trellis, its burpless and resistant to a lot of disease. A local to my area grows these every year in a raised bed with trellis. I planted (3) groupings of (2) seeds for (6) seeds total. I will trim to 3 at some point. I plan on adding some mulch when the plants take hold of the vines. I’m capable of pollinating them manually if I have to.

I should get 2 hours with the sun obscured by trees followed by 6 hours of unimpeded sun before it disappears behind the house. It will not get direct sun for the last 3-4 hours.

The marigolds are to attract insects and for their odorous protection. Dunno. He works at a place that sells marigold seeds. I wonder if he jive talked me. Sounds sus, but I had soil left over and thought what the hell.

Wish Dales cucumbers luck and thanks for the replies. I’ll post a final update in a few months (because I hate leaving things unfinished).

Just west of Pittsburgh, PA - Region 6. I was pretty young but my grandfather’s garden and orchard were legendary.

The garden bore nothing too exotic. Tomato, cucumber, zucchini, beans, cabbage, potato, lettuce, carrot, onion, radish. The usual suspects.

His apple trees (maybe 12) did fantastic. Unsure of type but it was a baking apple. There was always a glut of apples in the fall. They had a grainy flesh as compared to a non-baking apple. They were still quite delicious to eat right off the tree.

He also had a plum and a pear tree that both did well for many years. Again, I am unsure on the breed. The pear I remember in my head looked a lot like a bosc. It bore pears that were smaller than a grocery stores. They were brownish not the standard yellow or green. Very sweet though.

Not trees, but Pennsylvania grapes, rhubarb, black raspberries, red raspberries, blackberries and strawberries were also quite productive for many years. Particularly the red raspberries of which he had like 30 bushes, so you could eat your fill and take a to-go bag. Mind the Japanese beetles. So good and such a good memory.

Peaches though wrecked my grandfather. If it wasn’t blight, it was disease, birds, bugs, bores or drought. All he wanted was an unmottled peach. Never did ever happen despite his best efforts.

Cherries did a number on him too. The birds were just too hard to beat. Chaotic little shits would eat the unripened fruit.

Oh, and I wanted to ask you a specific (or anyone else for that matter). Feel free to tell me to pound it sideways if you don’t know.

When I was looking up the Port Albert, I also discovered a sort-of kin to it called a ‘Lemon Cucumber’. Are they any good?

This is the other variety that keeps coming up. Straight 8 is also on the list. I’m working in a grocery store right now and have access to people who SHOULD be in the know. I’ve been told that the ones readily available to my Pittsburgh region are the seedless hybrids trucked in and 30 days between picking and slicing.

Sadly, the guy I spoke with knew a fair amount about the differences in cucumber varieties. He advised I seek elsewhere as to how best grow them. I truly don’t need another chore to do after work and don’t want to prune either.

Yes, this is one I hear a lot. It’s likely going to be a finalist.

I was able to find the Port Albert seeds for sale to my region. I’m unsure if it’s lineage is purer than yours, but it had the right name. The crystal apple was another one that made the initial list of breeds to pick from. I can’t say if I’ve ever had a sour cucumber or not. It’s one of those fruits that always kind of tastes the same to me, watery and earthy with a pinch of salt. If its a drastic difference, then I maybe haven’t had that honor.

I’ve never eaten one but have seen them at the grocery store before. I had no idea it was a cucumber variety. I thought it to be along the lines of a sweet fruit (like starfruit or dragon fruit).

As for Dale, I’d have to be over cautious. I’m unfamiliar with it and it has a known hazards entry regarding the seeds. I’d have to defer to Dr. Mike (his vet) to be sure it’s not the last thing he eats. I give him other fruits that have toxic parts, and I remove those parts, but it’s a fruit I’m familiar with and am comfortable doing it. as an example, cherries are one of his favorite fruits, but the pits are deadly if he eats one. Grapes on the other hand, I’m not sure. I won’t give him one. Not worth the risk in my opinion. Leeching can occur from the seeds and even seedless grapes can have small underdeveloped seeds.

On that note, chocolate, caffeine, avocados, tobacco and any fruit pits are all deadly. Alcohol, salt, oil, honey and fake sugars should be avoided. As part of his daily diet, he eats a serving of fresh fruit/melon for breakfast and steamed veggies at night. He eats most of whatever I eat for dinner as well. Especially chicken. He LOVES chicken. We tell him it’s his cousin Arnold or aunt Ruth. It seems to make him happier.