It took me 4 years and 6 therapists to find the right one. My therapist has adhd, I love her.

Take a break, but don’t give up on helping yourself

Oh it’s not a friend, but definitely well known about

My anxiety guides me.

Today I get to bask after three days of deep cleaning my home! It is a good day today!

Though, getting a new dishwasher installed is what sparked it, anxiety drives me to get my stuff done. Why waiting until last minute sometimes can produce my best work (yet sometimes can cause disaster still).

I also pushed myself onto a leadership position at my work once. A two year commitment. I had to do a lot of public speaking, I absolutely hated it, and cursed myself for doing it to myself, but it was to bring me out of my comfort zone and I knew the payoff was to help and be a voice for my fellow employees I represented. It was tough.

Hell yeah, for me, using my anxiety as a driver for change has been massively helpful in my life. Face it- then its faced, I still have the anxiety but I understand it and can objectively react to it in a positive way. Introspection is a hell of a thing.

I made Al Pastor, a bean dish, and three salsas yesterday. Four and a half hours (with cleaning as you go method).

Todays cook time will be 10 minutes.

My son says he keeps seeing chipmunks jumping from our roof. But it could be squirrels too. I can’t see them they are so high in the tree!

Yes, the entire ground is covered in that oine cone litter in the photo. Little buggers!

I have a small group of these guys (or maybe it’s just one I can’t tell), that are currently as I type, and for the last three days, up in the pines right next to my house.

They are hurling the green pine cones out of the tree.

Every morning, bang pinecone hitting the roof, ping pine cone hitting the metal gas tanks. Incessant hurling of pinecones from a 40ft tree right on to the house. They’ve been working hard for a few hours every morning for this. I hear them squeek and laugh up there. There’s a pile of pinecones at the bottom of the tree that would fill at least a few wheelbarrows.

I love them, but if you tried to walk under the pines right now, I’d grab a helmet.

Picking produce from my garden, and cooking meals for my family, are the only things that bring me joy these days. My therapist runs a craft group, it doesn’t bring joy but it is helping with a sense of community.

Acknowledging that suffering is just as important as pleasure in the human condition, I’ve come to a peace with suffering. It’s just our turn in time. Oddly enough, facing the suffering head on with acceptance that the world has balance, has made a lot of room for joys in my small, daily life.

I don’t know when the last day with my family will be, and so, it is easy to appreciate our time today, basically.