Check out Radical Graffiti for some inspiration

https://linktr.ee/Radicalgraffiti

Maybe try Ian Bone, if you can track doen some of the old issues of Class War, or his autobiography Bash the Rich. He’s less academic and more violent and punk side of anarchism, but I’d say worth reading.

“And yet you participate in society”

Yeah, you’re not an Anarchist, categorically. But I do appreciate that the choice right now is between “Let’s kill all the minorities!” and “Let’s only kill a few minorities!” so I don’t begrudge anyone who does vote.