Arch - the insufferable know-it-all that refuses communication except by written notes, mostly so the answer can be “read note XYZ”. Should be bullied more often

Debian - The teacher. Most of the students get what is taught. Is always lagging behind what the students are doing, but doesn’t care.

Slitaz - The orphan weirdo that survives off trash. Has no clue how anything more recent than a flip phone works