I usually was lucky enough to get hyper fixated just before exams due to my anxiety. So I was a straight-A student. But it was always a struggle against myself. And it kept getting harder as I got into college, and then university. I also constantly got the “not reaching my potential” line even though I was very good academically, since I sucked in the regular classes and only shined in exams. Basically, they thought that I could do even better if I could perform that well without even trying. (I was trying my best, or least as much as my monkey brain would allow me.)

I remember when I joined high school, people thought I was cheating in exams because I barely did homework (it wasn’t graded, so didn’t feel any pressure to do it well) and was frequently distracted. But soon enough they realized that it’s just the way I was.

Even now, I need to give myself forced deadlines by promising my colleagues/superiors so that the anxiety of embarrassment forces me to actually do my work. I want to get a diagnosis, but you guys know how hard it is for us to get motivated for that.