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And anxiety because you might need to do it again like Cleaning, laundry, etc and you know it will be the same cycle
Surprisingly, every-single-time I believe that I will for the rest of my life do the thing on time, incrementally and with no effort. Especially after a long cleaning effort. Sure, of course I will now always do a little bit every day, and the way the place looks now will be how I will always live …
With treatment, this is finally a reality. And just now I realise how ridiculous the idea was to do it like that before. My brain plans as if it were healthy, it’s really weird.
The rest of you feel relief, and not just a wave of dread as the next task looms?
I suffer so much from this. I have to hype myself up to finally do “the thing”, whatever it may be, and then afterwards it’s just dread for the next time it has to happen. Hate myself for it.
Self hatred because if you were just better it wouldn’t take 6 hours to clean a one bedroom apartment that you live in alone and are never even home in and if you didn’t suck so much it wouldn’t ever get dirty and need cleaned beyond a quick vacuum in the first place.
